Dear
Pemberton residents:
I am
awe inspired by the beauty of your community.
I feel privileged to spend even a couple days in such impeccable mountain
scenery. Just a few brief, minor
concerns:
1. If I accidentally walk onto the wrong grumpy old man’s property, will he open fire on me?
2. See question 1 but replace “grumpy old man” with “ferocious
grizzly bear” and “open fire on me”
with “maul me and feast upon my flesh.”
3. See question 1 but replace “grumpy old man” with “swarms
of hornets.” I’m searching for the right metaphor for what they will do but
“open fire on me” may be an
appropriate use of language to describe them as well.
4. See question 1 but replace “grumpy old man” with “yeti”
and “open fire on me” with “kill me in a way henceforth unimagined by
mortal man”.
5. Have I missed other means through which I can be
killed in Pemberton simply by walking through your woods?
